Feel the Burn!!!

So, for most of my adult life, I have fought with my weight.  I have always been overweight and even at my smallest, was still curvy.  Before I had Cooper, I had lost quite a bit of weight and was feeling good about myself.  After Cooper was born, however, that all changed.  If you have had a child, you know that it completely changes your body.  My body changed quite a bit and I hated it.  I went out and bought a new wardrobe thinking that would help my self image.  It helped for a little while since I now had clothes that fit my new body, but eventually I felt bad about myself again, but not because of the way I looked.  I found it hard to run around and play with my toddler.  After 10 minutes of running around outside or chasing each other through the house, I was winded.  I was 31 years young and couldn't play with my son like he deserved! 

My mom helped me with the funds to sign up for the Metabolic Research Center program.  I did really well and lost 40 pounds in no time.  I was back down to my pre-pregnancy size. I felt great! 

THEN, I fell in love!  LOL   I got "fat and happy" and gained back 20 of the pounds I had worked so hard to lose. Chris has a HUGE sweet tooth and that is fine for him...he is skinny already.  He loves me  so much and he tells me all the time how much he loves my curves.  He loves me for who I am and I love him for it.  He says he wishes I could see myself as he sees me....and I would be fine with my weight, except that I want to be around for a LONG time for my son. 

I started WeightWatchers this week.  So far, so good.  I am finding it really easy to stay within my points and I still get a treat now and then.  I also started "Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred".  SHE is kicking my ass, but I feel really good after my workout and I know that it will all be worth it in the end, even if I CAN'T walk upright right now.  LOL

On a completely unrelated topic, I get to go try on wedding dresses this weekend.  Yay!

Until my next post,
Love each other....

My light in the dark....

I can't express enough how much my son means to me.  I am so thankful to be able to spend each and every day with this little, smart, bundle of energy.  He is so loving and he gives his love freely to everyone who treats him with kindness.  He makes me want to be the best role model that I can.  I never knew I could love someone so much.  


I think of him as a miracle.  I was never told that I couldn't have kids or that there was anything wrong that would cause me to be infertile, it was just something I had felt for most of my life.  I wanted kids.  I love kids.  I taught Preschool for 10 years and loved them.  Just something inside me made me feel that I would never be able to have any of my own.   I got the opportunity to take a job working from home making twice the money I was while teaching, so I jumped on it.  It was third shift, but the money was worth it.  Approximately two months after starting my new job, I found out that I was pregnant.  I was shocked, overjoyed, ecstatic....humbled.  


On my first trip to my OBGYN, I was given an ultrasound and found that I was 6 weeks along and that I had developed a cyst on my left ovary.  They told me that it should burst by the time I was 12 weeks along, but it didn't.  After Cooper was born, it was not only still there, but it had grown.  So, when Coop was 5 months old, I went to have it removed and in the process of removing it, they found that I had cysts all over my ovary as well.  They had to remove my ovary that day.  If it hadn't been for getting pregnant with Cooper, who knows how long I would have gone without knowing that I had this issue.  So, for that, I am thankful.  


However, that leaves me with one ovary and Chris and I would like to have more children.  We have decided that if we try and are not able to get pregnant, then we will definitely adopt.  I think we have decided that even if we are able to get pregnant, then we are going to adopt as well.  We have a lot of love to give and if we can give to a child who needs it more than most, then that's what we are going to do.  


But in the meantime, it's just Cooper and I plan to soak up all of his love and energy that I can.  He is a sponge and soaks up everything that I give him, so I should do the same. He wants me to hold his hand at night as he falls asleep and I will hold his hand as long as he will let me.  He wants our love and attention all the time and we will give it, even if later on he thinks he doesn't want it.  He is so easy to love.  I hope he thinks the same of me. 


Until next post,
Love each other.